Something about a crush

So i am lying to myself.

I like to talk about love affair and the matter of heart as if it can be discussed, dissected and probed rationally. I am the last person on this earth that should claim that.

I am having a stupid crush on someone I just met less than 2 weeks ago and I am totally getting out of control. As in, I am feeling things I SHOULDN'T be feeling.

So I have a disclaimer to state: Whenever you read about anything I write about looking a love dispassionately, retionally, please know that I am writing with the part of my brain that's the furthest from my heart.

I am probably getting old and desperate, but not old enough to resign to fate.

It's amazing I still have this kind of hope and passion, and dreams. maybe I am not totally jaded yet, which might be a good thing.

My new articles repository

I finally got fed up with free web hosting. So I moved my articles repository to a blog. You can find it here:

Zuraffo's Repository

Feel free to browse through the articles and leave comments. Also, currently the index system is a hack. If anyone knows of a more elegant way of doing it, please let me know. You'll get an autographed copy of my book when it comes out. ;)

文化传真：中国七大古都

城市介绍
历史介绍

The Seven Ancient Capitals of China

★安阳

上古三皇五帝时代，颛顼、帝喾两位帝王在安阳境内建都。殷商後期为商都殷墟。汉末以後，以邺城为中心的安阳先後成为曹魏、後赵、冉魏、前燕、东魏、北齐六个王朝的都城。

Anyang:
It is the oldest city among the Capitals. It has been the capital since prehistoric era. Later, during Shang dynasty, it was renamed to Yin as the capital of Shang. During the three kingdoms era (End of Han dynasty), it was known for one of its city: Ye, which has been the capital for Wei of Cao family, and other northern governments.

★北京

北京为五朝帝都（辽、金、元、明、清）：
春秋战国时期为燕国国都，当时称为蓟。
辽代为陪都，称燕京。
金朝（1115年 - 1234年）自金世宗起至1217年为中都。
元朝为大都。
明朝自永乐帝起为首都，称为京师。
清朝入主中原後亦把北京作国都。
中华民国北洋政府时期，当时称北京，北伐成功後新的国民政府在南京成立，北京改称北平。
现时中华人民共和国的首都。

Beijing:
It has been the capitals of five major ancient dynasties: Liao, Jin, Yuan, Ming, Qing (Ironically, three out of five of these dynasties were considered as the "barbarian" dynasties by contemporary chinese history.) During the Late Zhou Era (Roughly 500 b.c.), it was renamed as Jing as the capital of the Yan government. From 1115 to 1217, it was named as Zhongdu duing the Jin Dynasty. During Yuan dynasty, it was named as Dadu. During Ming, it was called JingShi. It was named as Beijing during the Qing Dynasty.

★杭州

杭州在五代十国时期为吴越国之首都。金朝灭北宋後，皇族赵构逃往南方，令当时称为临安的杭州成为南宋都城。

Hang Zhou:

The Capital of Southern Song. It was called Lin'an during that time.

★开封

开封，简称汴，古称“汴州”、“东京”、“大梁”。是中国多个重要王朝的首都。战国时期，魏国建都于此，称“大梁”，冶铁业发达，十分繁荣。後历经黄河水患和战乱，几乎沦为废墟，极度衰败。五代十国时期国家四分五裂，开封地理条件非常适宜农业经济发展，作为一统天下的基础，先後成为後梁、後晋、後汉及後周的国都。后周大将赵匡胤发动陈桥兵变代後周称帝，建立宋朝（北宋），仍以开封为首都，称为“东京”，终于完成对中国汉民族本部的统一。北宋时期，开封城市结构突破了唐代长安“坊市”城市格局的束缚，再次走向繁荣，发展成为当时世界上人口最多最繁华的城市之一。靖康之难後，北宋灭亡，开封被金国占领，继续被金朝定为都城。蒙古灭金之後，成为河南省州府至中华人民共和国建国。

Kaifeng:

Also called "bian". It has several old names like "bian zhou", "dong jing", "da liang". It has been the capital of many dynaties. During the Late Zhou era, it's the capital of Wei government, known as "Da Liang". The iron smelting was ery developed there. Ravaged by war and flood from yellow river, it was nearly in ruin. During the interim between Tang dynasty and Song dynasty (907~959), due to its advantagous geographical location which was suitable for agriculture, it became the capital for four major governments. After Song dynasty united China, Kaifeng was kept as the Capital. During the Northern Song dynasty, it developed into the world capital of that time. After Jing occupied Kaifeng, Jing shifted its capital from Beijing to Kaifeng.


★洛阳

夏、商、东周、东汉、三国时期魏、西晋、北魏（493年才自大同迁都至此）、隋、唐、後梁、後晋均以洛阳作国都或陪都。（见解释）

解释：洛阳的历史上的情况比较复杂，容易引起误解。

夏、商、周、汉、魏诸朝都有多次迁都的历史，这些朝代的都城从历史纵向上看可能不只一个，洛阳是其中的一个。例如商就先後多次迁都，所以安阳、郑州、洛阳都自称是商的都城，而除了安阳之外，其他城市尚无确切考古证明证实其曾为商都。

部分朝代的首都不只一个。出于战略上和经济上的需要，一些巨大王朝会设立陪都，例如唐，举世公认其首都为长安，洛阳之所以称为其都，是因为唐代统治者定洛阳为其行宫和巡幸之地，故有“东都洛阳”之称。虽然在影响和地位上不能和长安相提并论，但毕竟有别于一般的地方行政单位。

★南京

南京为东吴、东晋、南朝（宋 、齐、梁、陈四朝）、南唐、明、太平天国、中华民国首都。
三国时称为建业，是东吴的首都。
西晋避司马业讳，改名为建康，是东晋的首都。
南北朝时期，宋朝、齐朝、梁朝、陈朝皆以此城为都。南朝四朝首都，加之东吴、东晋首都，所以南京亦称六朝古都。
六朝以後为南唐国都。
朱元璋推翻元朝建立明朝後，南京为大明的首都。後明成祖迁都北京，南京亦为南都。
太平天国时期改为天京，为太平天国都。
孙中山领导辛亥革命推翻清朝後建立中华民国，南京被定为中国首都。
随着北洋政府的建立，由南京迁都北京。1927年北伐胜利後，复定都南京。（侵华战争期间1937年-1945年国民政府迁往重庆，重庆为临时首都-陪都）。1949年蒋介石所领导的国民政府撤退到台湾之前，中国首都均位于南京（理论上南京至今仍为中华民国的正式首都）。

★西安

西安，不仅是中国四大古都，还是世界四大文明古都。古称长安，又曾称西都、西京、大兴城、京兆城、奉元城等，是中国历史上当之无愧的建都朝代最多、历时最久，影响力最大的城市。先後有西周、秦、西汉、新、东汉（献帝初）、西晋（愍帝）、前赵、前秦、後秦、西魏、北周、隋、唐等13个王朝在这里建都达 1100馀年之久。又曾为赤眉、绿林、大齐（黄巢）、大顺（李自成）等农民起义政权的都城。

每日一字：熟

“熟”字有两个读音：
shu2 :

1. 成熟。Ripe.
2. 加热到可以食用的程度。Cooked.
3. 加工制造或锻炼过的，如“熟铁”。Processed. As in "Processed Iron".
4. 因为常见或常用而知道得清楚。Familiar.
5. 熟练。Adept.
6. 程度深。如“熟睡”。Deeply, as in "sleeping deeply"

shou2 : 口语。Used in spoken mandarin

每日一字：胳

"胳"字有三个读音：
ga1 : “胳肢窝”(ga1.zhi.wo1)。同“夹肢窝”(ga1.zhi.wo1)。腋窝的意思。Armpits.
ge1 : “胳臂”(ge1.bei)。肩膀以下，手腕以上的部分。Arms
ge2 : “胳肢”(ge2.zhi)。在别人身上抓挠，使发痒。Tickles.

每日一字：瞭

“瞭”字有两个读音：
liao3 : 同“了”。明白，懂得。如：明瞭，瞭如指掌。已经普遍上简化为“了”了。Understand, grasp, recognize.
liao4 : 瞭望，通常指广范围的观察。Observe, survey great area.

First week in KL

Tired, and got sick because I walked in the rain.

It's very interesting to be a teacher, although I haven't started teaching yet. Now I am observing the classes and make notes. When the center deemed me ready I'll start taking classes. I don't know if this is the organization I want to work with for long, but it's definitely a good learning experience.

I think life has become something nebulous for me. There is no longer any DEFINITION, like I can do what I want, and can BE what I want. Is this freedom? Or is it called "Lack of purpose and direction"? I don't really have an answer, but I feel thrilled and scared at the same time.

More than ever, I inexplicably felt time's monolithic, unilateral movement. At the end of the day, what we do in this world, what we achieve, will not matter when merge with the endless, boundless river that is called "history".

Don't get me wrong, I still feel a sense of duty to achieve something, to make my life meaningful, but being humbled before the magnificence of life gave me more freedom and conviction to do what I want to do, without being burdened by unwarranted considerations.

Reading 伤心咖啡店之歌 by 朱少麟. I read her 燕子 before, which is actually her second book. 伤心咖啡店之歌 is her first book. So far from what I read, I still prefer 燕子, but the person who lent me this book told me it is better. Well, we'll see.

每日一字：塞

“塞”字有三个读音：
1. sai1 : 把东西放进有空隙的地方。(tuck)
2. se4 : 与sai3同义，多用于合成词。比如：“闭塞” (Same meaning as sai1, use to form phrases)
3. sai4 : 可做屏障的险要地方。要塞。(A defensible location)